whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm like, not good at living.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
