a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
