im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
