community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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