PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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