Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
