He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
