So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sarcasm needs its own font
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
