If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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