I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The struggles of a small town man whore
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
