Cold hands, warm shart.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
organizing the empties. That sober.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
