you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
