Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Less talking, more tequila
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
