member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
