If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
