Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
