our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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