very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
