How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
false alarm, still single
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
