She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
