He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
