all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
