Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
