question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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