You're my little dorito
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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