whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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