a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
