she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
