mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
