fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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