it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
