Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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