If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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