I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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