i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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