Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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