He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
