Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
