I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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