I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
