return my video game
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
