Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
