): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
