From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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