it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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