Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
