these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My dick has a subreddit
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
