dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
