there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
