Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
