it wasn't lemon gatorade
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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