I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
