The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
