they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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