Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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