is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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